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Does Toxic Femininity Exist ?


The birth of the Patriarchy is something we have never been around for. It’s one of those old things you keep making excuses for when it flares up. Luckily there are several movements that are determined to uproot it for good. Buttttt, as all things, it takes time, support and unlearning. The Patriarchy hurts everyone. It’s a giant, with big teeth and an ugly face and will basically use anyone at its advantage. It feeds on anyone who will bite. 


But before we go into the doings of this monster, let me tell you who it is. 


Patriarchy is all about dominance and control. It is a system set up to ensure that men are given the primary power, social privilege and ownership over all things. There are many institutions that uphold this system. It is seen in the church, in schools, in our laws and sadly in the home. At some point we would have all encountered the brunt of this system, whether it has served us or removed us from spaces. 


The Patriarchy has brewed a culture that has managed to both serve and hurt men. The concept of Toxic Masculinity (yes, i know you’ve heard this term a million times and you’re probably rolling your eyes but stick with me here) is no foreign thing. It is basically a type of masculinity that is harmful both towards men and women. It upholds teachings of sexism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and dominance that can become violent and harmful.


But where does Toxic Femininity come from?

 

I woke up to two messages of the same tweet. The tweet in question outlined that Toxic Femininity is the belief that women think that “all men are predators, that women think men owe them something for sex and that women manipulate men for sex.” 

I scrolled through the tweet’s thread to see what were people’s thought, hoping that there may have been some light bulb moment where someone outlined the facts, but there wasn’t any sign of it.


So here we go…


Toxic Femininity is not the belief that men are bad or that men owe women sex. It is rather upholding the system of patriarchy by coming down on women who do not wish to upkeep traditional gender roles. For example, Women condemning other women for not wanting to bear children, women condemning other women for wearing ‘skimpy’ clothing and going out, women who accept abuse as something that is deserved, women who refuse to fit the mould of what has been aligned for them to be a female human being. It is the internalisation of misogyny and sexism.



Toxic Femininity upholds the traits and teachings of Toxic Masculinity, which is a byproduct of the Patriarchy. So does it really exist?


No, it kinda doesn’t. It’s all just Patriarchy, the greatest shapeshifter of the century. Toxic Femininity does not serve women, instead it creates a space for men to remain dominant and rule in privilege while women are serving in subservient and submissive ideologies. It is one of the world’s most oppressive teachings and practices. 


Dismantling the patriarchy takes work and loads of unlearning. But, there are a whole heap of people willing to lead the pack of this battle. It’s a huge task but not impossible.



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